Saturday, October 18, 2008

So Now What?

This is my first impromptu post. All the other posts so far were thought out and pre-written before I published them. But, I don't feel like doing all that this time.

Quite frankly, I can't think of much else to say. So . . . now what?

Well, I did start this blog for my self as an outlet for my feelings. That's what most blogs are, right?

I'm still in the closet concerning my apostasy. Now, my next issue . . . am I an atheist?

I'm not sure. I think I am. I'm comfortable with the idea. I can't see the point in worshiping God if I have to decide what and who God is. If it's left up to me, I'd rather not bother with it.

And, the idea of not having an after life doesn't bug me all that much.

Sometimes . . . but I'd rather have no afterlife than to be cast into the hell I was taught to believe in.

So, upon the suggestion of a friend, I will join a local group of atheists and see what it's like.

I've come to find out that when I stopped being a Christian, I just stopped. Something clicked in my brain and I just stopped. I didn't make a decision exactly. I just couldn't do it any longer after I realized I didn't believe. I think the same thing is happening with my thoughts on atheism. I don't think the group will convince me. I think something has clicked again and here I am -- an atheist.

If I am one . . . I'd say I'm a soft atheist. I don't believe there is a god, but I think spirituality can still be enjoyed and explored.

And of course, I have no problem with anyone else believing in god.

Just don't burn me at the steak if I disagree.
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