Thursday, November 13, 2008

A Broken Friendship

I do admit -- sometimes I miss god.


He was my friend.

He gave me comfort and I felt secure when I trusted him and stopped worrying about imagined and actual problems I faced in life.

I could cry out to him and feel better. I could praise him and fall into a world of euphoria. I could fall out before him and have a cathartic outburst and feel relieved.

He was a true friend to me.

Among my favorite hymns was What A Friend We Have In Jesus. I would sing that song and wonder why anyone would ever feel troubled. Just pray. Like the song said:

Oh what peace we often forfeit! Oh what needless pains we bare.
All because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.
My troubles would melt away.

When I first realized real evidence existed against the Bible, my heart sank.

Whoa! All that time and energy I spent!

But worst of all . . . I lost a really good friend.

God changed from a Person into an imaginary friend.

I didn't want to stop believing in god at first. But, once you have that moment -- that stroke of insight and reason -- your mind just stops believing; your faith just shuts off. This is really no different from realizing your parents were playing the role of Santa Clause all along. You catch them wrapping your gifts and placing them under the tree as you sneak into the living room to catch Santa visiting your home.

After that, you just can't go back to believing Santa Clause exists.

I lost a friend when I lost my faith in God.

But, that's okay. With a little time, I could happily move on.

And so I have.
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