Saturday, November 28, 2009

Where's Your Bible?

During our Thanksgiving festivities, I wondered if I would be asked to pray before we ate. I really hoped no one would press the issue. And thankfully, nobody brought it up.

But a different subject did come up.

My mother-in-law (who is a minister by the way), was sitting at our table waiting for dinner to be served. When out of the blue she asked, "Where's your Bible? I'd like to read something . . ."

I'm sure she saw the flash of panic in my eyes for I have no fucking idea where my Bible is.

None. Whatsoever.

I looked to my wife for help-- only to see the same flash of panic in her eyes.

Luckily, my sister-in-law came to the rescue. "Momma, I've got my Bible in my car . . . I'll just run out and get it real quick".

My mother-in-law has been trying to figure out what's "wrong" with me. And I think she asked for my Bible as a test. She knows that if I cannot even tell her where it is, then there is no way I've been studying it! I think it was a spiritual litmus test; and my spirit score was way too low.

I know she's becoming suspicious. She didn't bother to ask me to pray like at past Thanksgiving dinners. She assumed that role for herself this year. She didn't want to risk asking a backslider to bless the food.

And that's fine with me; I had no complaints about that.

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