I Can't Find My Soul

I can't find my soul.

Do you know where it is?

Is the soul the seat of personality?

Or is that just the brain?

Genesis says that man became a living soul. But, people often speak of the soul as a thing we have in addition to our lives.

What does it really mean to say that my soul will be lost?

Or saved, even?

Consider this: if you're depressed and you start taking medication. You slowly lift out of your depression. No, life won't be perfect and you'll still have some tough days. Yet, life will get remarkably better -- assuming you find a medication that is a good match for your unique physiology.

If you stop taking your anti-depressant suddenly, you tend to rebound. That spells serious trouble! Many people commit suicide after abruptly stopping an anti-depressant. Discontinuing an anti-depressant is dangerous even under a doctor's watchful care.

Now, consider this: if you're happy as can be and take some experimental drug, you're mood could go south really, really quick. You can become depressed and suicidal. Angry and bitter for no good reason. You be just like any other person with depression. You'll sleep all day. You'll want to be alone. You'll snap at everyone whenever you do come out of your dark, black agoraphobic hole.

Then, when you stop taking that experimental drug, you'll rebound -- just like the depressed individual mentioned above. Except, you'll become manic for a space of time until you come back down to your old self again.

Now, consider something else: You watch a loved one forget everyone he knows. What a sad and difficult time watching a loved one's very person and essence fade away! Pieces of your loved one's past flake away over time until nothing is there.

What about the schizophrenic who can cobble his or her life back together with medication?

What about that man who has no short term memory? Every time he sees his wife again, he thinks he hasn't seen her since he came back from the hospital 40 years ago after his head injury.

What about soldiers who come back with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or some serious head injuries due to military action? Their personalities are fractured and they never go back to being the same as before they left home.

Where is the soul in all of this? What is the soul?

Can you blame all of this on demonic activity? Can you really say the devil has invaded each person's soul in all of the above situations?

I don't think our soul is some part of us or some thing of ours that God wants.

Either we are souls, or we have no souls at all.

In other words, we're just people with brains. You can call our brains our soul, or not.

Maybe that's why I can't find my soul.