Love and Marriage

Love and marriage, love and marriage | Its an institute you can't disparage
Ask the local gentry | And they will say its elementary

Song : Love and Marriage -- words by Sammy Cahn & Jimmy Van Heusen

Girls who made abstinence pledges after participating in abstinence-only programs had premarital sex just as often as girls who did not make such pledges. And interestingly, contraception use and safe sex practices were lower among the group that broke their abstinence pledges when compared to the group that never made pledges.

The popular conclusion: abstinence-only programs don't work. But programs that couple abstinence awareness with contraception awareness work best.

Die hard supporters of abstinence-only programs argue that higher moral values due to religion and family upbringing caused the abstaining girls of both groups to practice their abstinence until marriage.

After mulling this study over, I started to wonder:

Does does marriage truly make sex moral?

Consider that marriage exists in two forms here in the United States.

Marriage is first and foremost a secular contract between the you, your spouse and the State. God is not a true part of the marriage equation according to the State.

Don't believe me? Ask your pastor to give you a divorce. Won't work. The State will still consider you married until you use legal measures to get a divorce.

Still don't believe me? Ask your pastor to marry you and your mate. Either before or after the ceremony, he'll ask you for the marriage license. See what happens if you don't already have one.

Marriage as a religious union between God and a united couple has no legal weight.

A religious group can consider you married all day long . . . but you'd better not file your taxes together if you didn't get your marriage license signed.

Unless of course, you were married based on Common Law. But that's the "immoral" way to get married, right? That doesn't count before God. But Common Law matters to the State.

So again, what power does marriage have to make sex moral? Because, here in the United States, God has no real power over marriage.

If God does have power over marriage, then why does the State control marriage and divorce?

After considering this, my view is that consenting adults have committed no crime or immorality if they choose to have sex outside of marriage. Immorality begins when an adult takes advantage of an adolescent or another adult who is non-consenting.

And as for adolescents with adolescents . . . well, few parents want to condone this. But, this happens often. Some parents today may blush when they think back on their own teen years.

So then, be prepared for your adolescent to have premarital sex one day. Yes, teach him or her abstinence. But, also teach him or her to use a condom or birth control. Your teen just might yield to the temptation of premarital sex one day. In such a case, wouldn't you want your teen to practice safe sex?

Here are a few consider:

How Government Got Involved in Marriage
(This is a PDF file. But if you got this far, it's worth it!)

Husband and Wife