Saint Nick versus Noah's Ark

I know Christmas is over now, but I can't resist making this point:

NORAD has a tradition where they "track" Santa Clause as he journeys across North America to deliver toys.

We know that this is only a tradition. Of Course Santa Clause cannot traverse all of North America -- let alone the whole world -- climb down someone's chimney, deliver toys, climb back up the chimney, get back on his sleigh, then stop again next door.

He can't do this for any home, let alone each home in North America before morning!

Don't get me wrong, we like to imagine Santa making his delivery; many of us still like to pretend. Fiction and fantasy are wonderful as long as we keep these elements in their place.

But, keep in mind, the same kind of physical impossibilities that prevent Santa Clause from going to each home across North America -- and the whole world -- are the same type of physical impossibilities that Noah faced when trying to get a pair of every species of every animal (and in some cases seven of each clean animal) onto his ark. Animals that don't even live in his climate had to somehow find their way to Noah and board his boat.

Lets not even go into the sanitation problems he'd have on the ark. A pair of each animal from all the animals of earth trapped on a boat with only eight or so people?!

The animals outside of their climate would die. And what would the carnivores eat? They'd starve to death after breaking loose and eating Noah and his family.

And the other animals on board, too.

Whoops, their goes humanity!

And I'm not sure, but I don't think there is even enough water to cover the surface of the whole earth anyway? At least, not from rain. Not even from busting out from under the ground, either.

Santa Clause has a better chance of being real that Noah's attempt to save the world -- and what we pretend about Santa is certainly impossible!

Oh well . . .

Santa-God

I read an article that gave suggestions on how parents might deal with their child's belief (or non-belief) about Santa Clause; this following paragraph really stood out:

One example of how to deal with a child questioning Santa might go something like this: "Yes, Tommy, Santa Claus is very real, and if you listen to the laughter and excitement of children at Christmas you are hearing him. It is true that many of the stories you have heard about Santa are fantasies to help you have fun. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa's workshop at the North Pole and Santa squeezing down your chimney are all fun things to imagine, but they are not real. But the love and joy that Santa represents to us, the kindness and the generosity that we show each other in his name are all very real and very special. You see, Santa is really a feeling - a part of the spirit of Christmas - and when we are filled with that spirit we become like Santa ourselves. So, yes, Santa, like love, kindness and generosity, is real and lives in the heart of every one of us."*

My thoughts: touching, but no thanks. Being an atheist now, that just sounds so very strange to my ears. Cult-like, even.

I'm surprised that at the end of this paragraph the author didn't add:

In the name of the Santa-father, and of the Santa-son, and of the Christmas Spirit. Amen.

Or maybe the author should have made a parody of Colossians 2:9 & 10 and said: In St. Nick dwells the fullness of the Santa-God bodily, and Christmas is complete in him.

*Unfortunately, the link to the full story: Psychology: When it comes to Santa Claus, you've gotta believe is dead now. Maybe you can use your Google-Fu to dig up the original article somewhere.

Santa Clause versus the baby Jesus

I saw a nativity scene where Santa Clause was kneeling down and praying to the baby Jesus.

But honestly, I think the scene should have gone the other way around.

Santa Clause owns Christmas.

I know, I know, Jesus is the reason for the season.

Well, actually, as I've read in other places, the tilt of the earth's axis is the reason for the season.

Anyhow, Ole Saint Nick seems to have true supremacy over the Christmas holidays.

I think Santa Clause has an advantage. You can't listen to Christmas songs for too long without hearing something about Ole Saint Nick. I don't think too many popular movies hit the box office about the baby Jesus either -- not like you see movies about Santa Clause. Besides, you can find Santa Clause in any color! Caucasian-American, African-American, or Asian-American.

Besides, who can resist that magical sleigh with reindeer, that jolly laugh, and all those free gifts?!

I bet in a few years, you'll even find Hispanic-American Santa Clauses running about.

But, I've never seen anything other than a blond haired, blue eyed baby Jesus.

Now, with grown up Jesuses, I've seen all kinds. I've even seen an African-American Jesus with a perm.

Or, maybe he just had good hair. Naturally, Jesus would have good hair; he's the Christ, for Christ's sake!

Maybe if baby Jesus would let people depict him as other races, he could finally get one up on Ole Saint Nick and take Christmas back.

At the very least, baby Jesus should let people depict him as Jewish -- don't you think?

And he should bring all the kiddies lots of new toys. That always helps.